I had a dream last night which provided me with some insights, and it was to some extent troubling. While the basic message of it was fresh in my mind, I’m going to post it here as a mental record.

This will not be a dreamalog, though I like them and have posted them. It is mainly an insight into specifically why one girl I used to know was as angry as she was, at least with regards to her treatment of me. Let’s call her Rowana.

Rowana’s treatment of me varied. It wasn’t all negative and there were times when I think she sort of liked me. Usually, this kinder treatment came after I had resolved to ignore her. She didn’t want me to be oblivious, apparently.

She had moved into my best friend’s apartment, his girlfriend’s buddy, as a paying roommate type thing, so dealing with her and her hostility was a constant problem, since they all lived in the same building as me. I had been there first, and had helped my friend get situated there, which he repaid by having constant, wild parties, getting the police interested in my building, and moving in this extremely bitter girl who had a constant desire to “diss” me.

She had the pretty standard pretentious package girls of that era had when they wanted to appear intellectual and interesting. She had bisexual pretensions, vegan pretensions, Wiccan pretensions, psychedelic mushroom pretensions. She was angry and bitter, but she was also about 20 years old and built like a brick shithouse. I couldn’t ignore her.

She seemed to have a boyfriend, an obnoxious little rich kid who would visit her and then spend hours piloting a robotic motorcycle around in a parking lot next door. His parents supposedly had a big house up in the burbs, though I never got invited to one of the parties.

She used to chant my name for hours, putting some kind of hex on me. She had a vendetta, yet I honestly can’t recall what I ever did to her to deserve it. I never asked her out. I never hit on her. Why so angry?

Last time I saw Rowana she was nicer. She had moved out of town, and was back for a few days and was working at her girlfriend’s sandwich shop to make some extra money. She had gotten herself pregnant and was now a single mom.

I’m open to the idea that I was somehow to blame for this person hating me. Once after a long day when we had all been to New York, I very slowly walked behind her as she charged up the stairs to avoid interacting with me. At her flight, she waited for me, realizing the slowness of my ascent was designed to let her know I did not want to deal with her anymore that day.

“I’m sorry I’m such a bitch,” she said.

Not pausing, and continuing my ascent, I replied. “I’m sorry you’re such a bitch, too.” I meant it, at least.

So, her back story was the child of divorce. She may have been Jewish, but maybe just all her friends were, and its immaterial, I think. The insight I got from my dream is one reason women are so angry is the the culture of divorce. They don’t learn how to have positive interactions with men. Their moms’ are huge influences, and they have been through painful divorces. Men don’t understand relationships until they have been married for awhile, and that is a big part of the problem.

So, I have diagnosed the problem, but is there a solution? Could Society in a constructive way do something to promote marriage, resulting in less bitter and disillusioned men and women? Could Hollywood do more? Could the Media? Could marketing and advertising?

Have you ever looked for a house? Realtors keep their eyes peeled for “divorce houses” where a marriage breaks up and the home is on firesale as people are desperate to move on and cut their losses. It’s an economic tactic.

Look at Haiti. This poor nation is as conflicted as any divorcing family. Stuff is cheaper here, because people are desperate. This poor fellow killed himself rather than testify against the Clinton Foundation. His name was Klaus Eberwein.

Open your mind for a moment, as I had to. Think very clearly. Might there not be some very cold, calculating conspiracy to turn the USA into a giant divorce house so some predatory capitalists could swoop in and seize all assets? Doesn’t it seem like there is? Even if there wasn’t a concerted and designed conspiracy, might there not be a kind of thermodynamic entropic shift to disorder on a million small independent initiatives?

The USA is not all that far from Haiti, economically or geographically. I am not sad Rowana did not like me, I am sad she was unable to maintain a relationship with a decent person, at least to the extent she did not have to raise her child in relative poverty. Her personal failure is her fault, but she could have gotten a little help, and it all starts with sucking it up and not getting divorced on the part of those responsible. If people treated it like a lifelong commitment, there would be less marriage and less divorce. The secret would be to promote marriage and huge families for the people who aren’t going to screw it up. Better to have one family with twelve fairly functional children than 12 “families” producing angry and bitter malcontents. That would be a start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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